Pearl Gets a Confession - Pearl & Will Ferrell

Check out this video of Pearl getting a murder confession out of Will Ferrell - so funny!

PEARL AND WILL FERRELL VIDEO

See you next time...

Stories from the CTA - Chapter 1... "Pretty Good Socks"

Thanks for coming back to "When the Law Fails!" Today will mark my first installment of a continuing series: Stories from the CTA. As always, all readers are invited to send me their own stories, and I'll post them up here.

So back to the point - everyone knows that crazy things happen on the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) buses and trains daily. The drivers of the buses, train operators, and CTA workers honestly just don't seem to care about what goes down! Oh well, it provides for humorous blogging opportunities.

So thinking back quite a bit, I remember a time about 1.5 years ago when I ran into a man that I affectionately refer to as the "Pretty Good Socks" guy. I was sitting on the Red Line heading northbound from the loop when a strange looking chap sat next to me and just sort of began to stare at me. I looked at him. He stared back at me. The tension in the air could be cut with a butter knife.

He uttered to me, with a raised eyebrow, and in a raspy voice, "pretty good socks." I looked at him inquisitively. He stared back at me, and pulled out a fresh new pair of crew socks from his backpack.

Now I, being a frequent traveler on the CTA obviously knew this man was trying to sell me something. However - he tried to peddle his wares by advertising them as only "pretty good"!!!!! Maybe if they were GREAT or EXCELLENT, or even just GOOD I would have purchased a pair.

So needless to say, I rejected his offer.

He countered. With Barbie printed socks.

"Barbie socks," again in the raspy voice. "Pretty good for the wife and kids."

Pretty good........... but not good enough.

Maybe you had to be there, but I just thought this man's attempt at selling socks was just really funny.

Government Funded Study of Male Condom Use - FAIL

The federal government (through the National Institutes of Health) just announced that it would spend $423,500.00 on a study of why men do not like to use condoms during intercourse. Well the answer is obvious, and I already wrote the NIH with my answer to the study and my request for payment. (see http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/06/19/nih-funds-study-men-dont-like-use-condoms/)

Actually seeing as how this picture is what can result by a man not using a condom, maybe the answer isn't so clear...

Anyway, here are some of my thoughts on what the government could use the money for instead of giving it to me (I'm a nice guy):

1) Free male-sterilization injections. Hey, it would solve the problem of not wanting to use a condom, right? (see http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/weird/Giving-Male-Birth-Control-a-Shot.html)

2) Targeted education towards America's youth that would teach them that if they did not wear a condom, their girlfriends would, over time, begin to look like Amy Winehouse. (see above)

3) Have the NIH finally release the vaccines against AIDS, herpes, babies, syphilis, and so on.

4) Create laws and regulations requiring couples' grandparents to be in the room during copulation. At least then it won't feel as good for the women too.

Ha ha.

Any other suggestions?

UPDATES on Dean Weissenberger

Here are some updates on the removal of Dean Weissenberger, including an online petition to sign:

http://www.unitedforweissenberger.com

http://leiterlawschool.typepad.com/leiter/2009/06/depaul-provosts-ousts-law-dean-without-consulting-faculty-plans-to-appoint-an-outside-as-interim-dea.html

http://abovethelaw.com/2009/06/depaul_college_of_law_dean_ous.php#more

http://www.abajournal.com/news/depaul_dean_is_removed_wasnt_in_synch_with_administration_spokeswoman_says/

DePaul Removes Dean of Law School :*(

As I'm sure everybody is currently aware, the DePaul University Provost recently fired wildly popular Dean Weissenberger from his position as Dean of DePaul's law school.

Everyone will remember his great level of interaction with and advocacy for the student body, especially his participation in student - faculty events such as the Public Interest Law Auction and the infamous trivia days during the lunch hour.

The SBA, and the rest of the students have expressed sadness and strong disagreement with the decision, as do I. Best of luck Dean Weissenberger. I, along with the rest of the student body appreciate everything that you have done for our College and your contributions will always be remembered.

Please feel free to leave comments with your reflections.

Drug Laws Fail

I'm sure we've all seen the mugshot images of this guy before - the infamous gold spraypaint huffer:

The question is: why does this guy keep getting arrested for huffing paint - why do people keep selling spray paint to this man to huff?

Maybe there should be laws that in order to purchase spray paint from a hardware store you have to show up without spray paint all over your face?

I don't know, I guess this post was just an excuse to put up a funny mugshot picture of the infamous paint huffer guy. Legal fail? Maybe not. Oh well.

He does have his own myspace though, apparently:

http://www.myspace.com/ihuffgoldpaint

Legal Anecdote

Just a little legal anecdote to get started here:

"A Lawyer's profession is to protect his or her client from other members of his profession"

(text is green to symbolize money)

Sounds about right, right?